Friday, February 25, 2011

Maulik, mom loves you!

The most wonderful thing in life is to see your kids grow up. The way they observe, talk, walk, eat – everything is so dynamic and you can never match the speed.

Maulik is a sensitive kid. He saw us when papa passed away and without saying or asking much, was an integral part of our cynical life. He would say things that we never expected from a 5 year old.

His concern towards naani, the video he shot for her when she was in the hospital, his attempt to avoid any conversation around an accident, his saying sorry to the stars (naanu as he would call one of them) one day when he misbehaved with naani – all of it is saying the unsaid pain and anxiety in him. The day he met mom in the hospital, he was quick to say, ‘chalo achha hai naani God ke paas nahi ja rahi’.

Today, everyone talks about Maulik turning a naughty kid, naughtier than what he was an year back. I scold him, scream at him and fail to straighten him. But somehow, deep within I can see my failure in his behavior. For almost 6 months after papa passed away, I was never with him. He spent his days either with cousins, friends or neighbors, but never with me. He wandered on his journey from the age of 5 to 6, the very crucial years of his life, and I was busy with my own self, trying to gain strength to overcome the blows of life. In the process – I clearly ignored him.

While all of us complain about his behavior, I can see through him when he is sleeping next to me, sliding his hands in my t-shirt. I have failed enormous times in asking someone else to drop him at the bus stop so that I do not miss my cab. But I eventually miss it everyday. ‘Mom will drop me’ he would maintain. He even threatened to quit school if I cannot drop him to the bus stop. Countless discussions and here’s the final verdict with moisture in the eyes – ‘aap soft soft meri jaan ho, aur koi itna pyaara nahi and so I will not go with anyone else’. Speechless I was.

I have spent the entire year cribbing and complaining, cursing God for taking away so much from me. Someone who was always there, someone who, I feel is much more precious than anything I could ever deserve - Maulik, meaning precious.

Maulik, I am seeing the sensitive little fool in you. The mature mind who gets fidgety the moment he senses gloom in the house. I am sorry if I ignored you somewhere, and I promise to make life better and this world more beautiful for you.

Will miss you...always.

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