Wednesday, December 30, 2009

We lost her

Nani passed away in her sleep on the cold night of 30th December following a cardiac attack. Finally her medical condition took over her willingness and enthusiasm to live more. 

While the cancer hospital had been her second home all these months, this time her lonely stay in the ICU lasted 40 days before she finally lost the battle. She was alone when she breathed her last in the respiratory ICU at Metro Hospital in Noida. She was alone in the mortuary the entire night. She was alone when she was being cremated at the Nigambodh Ghaat. 

A true fighter, she fought the deadly cancer bravely for a little more than three years. The last time we met, she requested me to get an effective shampoo to control her hair fall. Her face had an angelic glow, the heavens it seems were already smiling at her. While the doctors at the Dharamshila cancer hospital had already bid her a farewell, she was refusing to accept that she had to go. The doctors always said that she was the most inquisitive and alert patient who exactly knew what treatment and therapies were being given to her. 

 After a terrible night of waiting to see her body, we finally met her in the morning. Life seemed so frail thing suddenly. Covered in a pretty red shawl, she was lying peacefully. Atleast, there was no pain. When the pyre was to be lit, her face was uncovered...a moment that is etched in my memory. Her face lacked all the lustre and beauty. What had death done to her.

Finally there were flames and we saw that heap of logs shrinking. A shivering realization that the lady who did amazing things for her 6 children and 10 grandchildren and never expected anything ever was gone. An angelic heart, a beautiful face, a warrior in character - we lost her. The memories of her sweating in the sun to make us tandoori onion paranthas on the terrace, her making those doli ki rotis for us, applying coconut oil to my hair, saving me from mom's scolding, giving me her favourite saree to wear for my school farewell, kissing my forehead, always appreciating the gajar ka halwa that I would make for her, standing by me during my wedding......countless memories remain. Badi mummy, we shall miss you.

Let them fly and see them soar

   In your vacant room, the lights are always on    But there is no one calling for food And as the door is always ajar I miss screaming, ‘o...