Few days ago, a friend mentioned that she was upset with my over involvement (!!!) in Covid19 relief and complained that those days, I would go on and on about how cases are growing, how are people coming together to help, how are we trying to arrange resources for patients who reach out to us for help etc. etc. "You were so absorbed, because you make it about yourself", she said. She seemed upset, her tone was accusatory and she even hinted that I may be someone who tries to associate myself with death. I'm not sure what that meant, thought I've spend nights thinking about it. I don't know yet.
Stories of death have a strange way of reaching me. Many times, it is the death of people who I do not know personally, or may have briefly interacted with. But the news stays with me. The pain stays with me. I keep going back to think about their family.
Last evening, my insurance agent came visiting and his assistant was on call with someone. The name was very unique, so it took me no time to figure out that she was talking to the wife of someone I know.
She disconnected the call, looked at the agent and said, "Let's go meet <name withheld> madam after this and close the paper work. I feel so bad for her". "Bad", I exclaimed? "What...has something happened in the family", I asked. "Yes, she lost her husband to Corona in May", the girl replied. I could feel the rush of blood in my heart and I excused myself, took a minute to breathe and then returned back to my discussion with the agent. The man who died was my husband's friend. Ever since my husband passed away, I'd not seen him, but I knew his family and hence kept thinking about them.
Today, while returning my car after the regular service, the Harpreet Ford executive told me about how they were all busy because of the death of their General Manager. "Do you mean Mr. <name withheld>", I asked. He said yes, his eyes turned wet, and here's what he told me: After shopping with his family near Sohna Road in Gurgaon, the young GM was walking towards his car. A vehicle tossed him up in the air, and sped away, leaving him injured on the road. His wife and little kids kept shouting for help. People slowed down to look at them, but no one stopped to help. Finally, just as they managed to convince an auto driver to take them to the nearest hospital, local family members arrived to help. By the time they got him to the hospital, it was late. My interaction with the GM was related to some issues in my new Ford car (back in 2018), and I think he was very professional and polite. I feel sorry about his family, especially his kids. They saw their dad dying on the road, surrounded by a pathetic, insensitive, hollow society.
So this weekend brought me two sad news in the most unexpected ways. I will get over them, but not before thinking about the two families a couple of times. Blame me, call me a sadist...I just know I get moved by instances of death because I have lost too many people too soon. I am not ashamed that I have a heart that can grow to accommodate other's sorrows.
