This was less than two months after papa passed away, and mom was still struggling to recover from her injuries. One night, as I was lying all alone in the hospital room, brutally tortured, badly pained, and just about to lose hope, I decided to change life for good. I decided to take charge.
I remember looking at Maulik the night before I filed my papers. I remember the day I went to the court room, all alone. I wanted to sort it all, but with each passing day, life was becoming more complicated. I was insecure, unsure, and totally confused of where it was all going.
Life was struggling between trying to live without papa, the court case, getting used to single parenting, and also a mind which was apparently, losing balance. ‘You need a shrink’ people would advise. Family was sympathetic, and more. There was simmering pain inside, there were visual injuries outside – this was not a turn of life that I had ever expected.
And then there were these lessons that changed the way I was looking at life. The ‘what ifs’ of life suddenly became ‘what is’. I was learning to dismiss the ‘why me’ question that was haunting me. I was learning to spell DETACH and was able to exercise that into my life. The past was becoming weaker, and my determination was making me stronger.
In the dynamics of life, I never realized how I rediscovered self - confidence. had been feeling stronger but the pain was trying to pull me down. At this point, there were many people (from work, twitter, and life) who helped me in their own way to help me stand tall. The people who could move the mountain of apprehensions and fear in me aside just by telling me all that I needed to hear the most. I would not put names to the all those who have build a special relation by just being there, I would not even use a small word of thanks to acknowledge their contribution, but as long as I live, I will be indebted to these people and will make sure that I never let them down for the investment they have made in me.
Yes, I am blessed. And as my struggle to re-discover myself and my search for quintessence in life continues, I just hope they stay close.